Early New Years Resolutions

As the holidays and new years resolutions are quickly approaching,  I have been thinking on how I would like to do things differently in this next season of life.  After Christmas, my boys and I will head to Charleston to start our life with the hubs in school.  We won't be living with my parents anymore and I won't have 6 extra pairs of hands to help out with the littles.  I feel like a coach before a game trying to get a plan together to conquer the tasks ahead of me.  Other than my life changing drastically, this post has been inspired from seeing so much chatter on social media about married life and mommy life.  I feel like I have read so many blog posts and articles about being a wife and raising children.  Its had my little brain going on this topic for a little while now and I just really feel the need to pow wow about these thoughts in my noggin.

My Mom would always talk about how my grandmother would take her 4:00 shower every day.  Even if she had spent all day in her jammies cleaning and changing diapers, she occupied the kids for thirty minutes to make sure she didn't greet her husband with three day old hair.  Even if it was something as simple as spaghetti and red sauce, there was always a warm meal on the table and my grandfather was greeted with a clean house, dressed children and a smile from his wife.

She really fit the profile of a typical 50's housewife or that June Cleaver stereotype if you will. The goal was to have your husband come home to a quiet and tranquil setting where he could be heard and given a chance to unwind after a day at work.  Back then it was a woman's sole focus to submit to her husband and to keep an organized ship run at home.  Gahh don't all of these things make you want to roll your eyes and think "overachiever"???  At every turn I am seeing this mindset not only be steered away from but even looked down upon and laughed at in our society today.  In the feminist era we live in, women are constantly being reminded that we need to be redeem our womanhood in all sorts of different ways.  For the most part it seems that we have stepped away from this go getter attitude as wives and moms.

Let me be perfectly clear before I move on.  All the attributes I described about my grandmother are NOT things I practice.  If I am able to accomplish ONE thing on that little list, I chalk that day up as a total success!  Some evenings my husband returns from work to somewhat of a war zone.  He finds his wife in the same clothes he left her in, with some spit up added to the grungy shirt.  On any given night the children could be naked and screaming as one continues to tear apart the living room that no longer has a visible floor.  He is greeted by tired, unshowered wife saying 'Today has been a wreck, Im exhausted.  I need you to take the kids, so I can have a minute and then lets order take out".  Okay…not many days are THAT rough but you get the picture.While there are some days where productivity is winning, there are also others where we are lucky to have everyone in one piece.  Maybe a few of you can relate??

I don't know about y'all but underneath my exhausted "oh well" attitude on my failures as a homemaker, my hearts desire is to be all of those things.  When I see a movie from back in the day or hear about my grandmothers routine I get a little giddy on the inside and think "why can't I do that?".  It may just be my type A personality talking but I really think it is God tugging at my heart for things that he hopes for me to be more passionate about. I know that on days that I manage to throw something together for dinner and have a doctors appointment so I am forced to shower and put on real clothes, I sure do feel a lot better greeting my husband at the end of the day.

I am not saying my new years resolution is to try to be more perfect but rather take on the role God has blessed me with with a gracious and joyful spirit.  I want to give my "job" 110%.  Rather than staying in survival mode (because some days you're just trying to survive), I want to do the BEST with what I am given.  In this day and age I feel like I am constantly being reminded of all the things I deserve as a woman. I deserve a man who brings be just because flowers, and I deserve to look like a wreck all day as a mom because raising little ones is HARD,  I deserve to have some "me time" at the end of the day and I most certainly deserve to complain about any of the hardships along the way. This is such a far cry from that June Cleaver portrait earlier! Are we missing something?

I want to look at this lady of the house title through another set of goggles, the biblical kind.  As a Christian woman I ultimately am a daughter of Christ before a wife and mother and my life goal is to fulfill God's purpose for my life and to become more like Him.

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."(Gensis 2:18)

So, according to the bible we were put on this earth to be our husbands helper.  This could either sound really degrading or really empowering.   God is wanting us to do everything we can to support our husbands in providing for the family.  In many situations that means letting our husbands feel good about going to work each day knowing his counterpart is happy to contribute at home.  I think this mentality is overall a way to honor your husband by doing more than biting our tongue in an argument.  Taking on our role as homemaker with a loving spirit might just be what sets us apart from so many and makes God want to bless other areas of our lives.  The topic of this post was mainly sparked from me reading Wife School this year.  It gives such a refreshing view on the opportunities women have in marriage while teaching such biblical yet relevant values that I think every wife could benefit from.  I could not recommend this book enough!

Luckily this is not a blog post about all the things I am doing right.  Ultimately, at the end of the day I do not think that checking tasks off of a lists or having a clean house will make you a better person or  better your walk with the Lord.  However, I think there is definitely something about the attitudes wives had back in the 50's that just worked.  I know it couldn't have been easy to put a smile on your face when hubs walks in the door late or your day has been something awful but I think there is something to it.  and…Well… I'll just say it, DANGIT! I want to be like June Cleaver! I want to be the ultimate housewife and make my husband happy!

So what if we just gave it a try? What if we made dinner on week nights? What if we made sure our husbands came to a house somewhat put together? What if we put on a little lipstick at 5:00? What if we had a standing date night each week?  Would anyone be worse off for it? Yeah sure, we might hit the pillow a little harder at the end of the day but we just might end up feeling a little like superwoman!

I know there are so many different family dynamics out there.  Being a working mom makes everything look a little different in the way you run your home(I have been there).  No one marriage or family will function the same way but the underlying message of humbling ourselves to give all that we have is the point I am getting at.  I can only speak on behalf of my experiences and those who are in similar situations around me, but the goal in mind is just doing the best with what we are given!  I don't expect everyone to agree with me or have the same aspirations but that is okay!! However, if any of you out there have tips or tricks for getting through the week or if you remember things your mom or grandmother did that you think really worked, please let me know!  I love getting ideas for ways I can do things better.  Who knows maybe a future blog post will be a collaboration from some June Cleaver wannabes of the 21st century!