Pizza Partay

As of lately I have been looking for ways to be more frugal.  I would consider it recovering from a pretty intense spending problem in my high school and college years( another blog for another day)  Anywho, it turns out eating out costs a lot more than eating in.  Like A LOT.  Thanks to my friends of the small child variety, we rarely are up to the task of going to eat at a restaurant regardless of the cost.  Our table ends up looking like a crayon and puff war zone.   

Luckily, my mom is always good at making routine activities a little more exciting.  She suggested creating a fun night making homemade pizza.  

I was little leery of this at first being that I consider myself a bit of a pizza snob.  I was raised in a town that is home of undoubtedly the best pizza place on the planet.  Some might disagree but all of my Jersey readers are now nodding their head and probably drooling at the mere mention of the one and only Sam's Pizza.  It's not fancy but it is the best and that's all I have to say about that.  I knew making our own pizza would be like apples and oranges to what we have been used to but I figured it was worth a try.  

After three months, I can honestly say Friday night pizza is what I most look forward to during the week.  Every Friday during nap time, Lord willing for both children, I make the dough and set it aside to let it rise for the next few hours. I have researched a handful of recipes and I keep coming back to this one.   It is a big enough batch that we can make Wilbur his little personal pizza, 3 thin crust pizzas for Mom and Dad and even have some dough left over for bread sticks.  There is always plenty left over and we usually eat it for lunch the next day.  I feel like each week I am tweaking the crust a little too see how I can improve.  I am also hoping to find a healthier recipe in the future since, you know, carbs are the enemy.

What has really been a fun way to get creative is with toppings.  We usually always make one plain(cheese) pizza and then see what we can come up with for the other two.  So far Will has simple taste and loves the pineapple and pepperoni.  One of our first weeks we did a white pizza with prosciutto and arugula then drizzled aged balsamic on top, and I am still having dreams about it!  Some combinations turn out great and others, eh not so much.  Fortunately, my gracious husband tells me its his favorite even if some weeks they turn out borderline inedible.  

I had hoped to include little Will in the process but it led to flour everywhere and him eating cheese by the handful so we have resorted to movie time while Mom makes the pizzas.  We have been all about the Good Dinosaur lately, even though I could cry just talking about that stinkin sad movie.
It usually gives me just enough time to make little man's pizza and let him eat while I make the big kid pizzas.  By the time Dad gets home, the kids are bathed, full and ready for bed.  Mom is sweating and covered in flour but that it okay because date night commences as soon as the children are asleep.  The reason I hit the gym during the week is because come 7:00 Friday night I know I am stuffing my face with circle shaped Italian goodness with my fella by my side!

I really do hope this will be a tradition we can continue, even if it ends up being once a month.  This little party we have been enjoying is a nice way to keep things simple and inwardly focused.  There are so many pulls to be all over the place and trying to get out of the house.  I had hoped this would be less of a recipe post and more of a " how to have fun without leaving the house" post. The Lord has really laid it on my heart lately to just be a better steward over what He has blessed us with and to invest in my little family in new ways.  I know that the boys wont have any recollection of having Domino's delivered but my hope is that Friday Night Pizza Parties at home will be a sweet memory when they are big and grown(even though Im not letting them get big or grown!)

As always, I LOVE feedback!  Please feel free to share your favorite pizza recipe or your fondest family night memories.  Thanks for reading! 

Life Lately

My blog this month has become like  my relationship with my grandmother.  I mean to call once a week or at least once a month but life gets crazy and time just seems to disappear.  I really do love her and want to talk to her and update her on my life but the longer I put off the phone call, the more guilt I have for that call taking so long.  So here I am, shamefully dialing her number, feeling bad but knowing she loves me anyways :) Right?  Sorry blog, I promise to do better.

Life lately has been hectic but a little monotonous for the most part.  I feel like my family is in a "grind" season.  Every week we are working towards being on a better schedule, getting more accomplished and when Will and I do get a little bit of time on Friday night for a movie, we are both usually catching flies fifteen minutes into the new James Bond movie for the fifth time because we cant seem to get through that stinkin movie.

In our short time of being South Carolina residents, I have been reminded of how much I LOVE the south.  While I am a Jersey girl at heart, nothing warms my soul like some sweet tea and smocked children's outfits.  It just feels friendly everywhere you go down here.  We have moved about 30 minutes away from one of the most beautiful and historic cities in the country.  However, fun fact, not all of the surrounding areas of Charleston have the pastel colored beach houses and waterfront views.  There are actually some parts right around this amazing city that are just a little on the plain and not so fancy side, but are a very convenient distance from the Navy base.  While I knew we were moving into a very cookie cutter, suburban house, a good distance from downtown; for some reason I expected to see palm trees and cobblestone leading up to our neighborhood and was even hoping to get a whiff of the ocean from my driveway.  Yes, I was a little unrealistically disappointed on moving day.  Fortunately that feeling didn't last long knowing we weren't too far from that magical place everyone raves about.

Most days feel like the epitome of the early years of motherhood.  The race of meals, naps, toys and bath time.  The abrupt transition from catching a nap while my parents play with the kids, to praying that naps are in sync so I can catch a shower was a rude awakening for me.  Big Will has been way busier with school than any of us anticipated.  He ends up just being home a couple hours for dinner most evenings and then heads back to study till late.   This part of training has been a really big challenge for him and it has really made me feel the need to help him in any way I can.  School is more important than me getting help with the kids right now so I try my hardest to just greet him with a warm meal, some encouragement and a swift kick back out the door to go study more.

Even though we really don't eat out much in trying to save money and since two years old and seven months old is not really a prime age to be frequenting restaurants, we have been able to check out downtown a few times.  We took on King St while Wills parents were in town and let me tell you, the reviews were spot on.  Not only do you have all of the best shopping you could ever ask for but they are all nestled between the most beautiful old buildings.  The food, the shopping, the ocean, the houses; it is seriously the most breathtaking town I have ever encountered!! I am so excited to experience more of Charleston during our time here.  One of the few restaurants we checked out downtown was an upscale barbecue place and I am quite convinced that it was designed by Chip and Joanna Gaines.  I mean, what is better than shiplap and pulled pork??

After a recommendation from Wills speech therapist, I knew as soon as we moved here I wanted to get Will in some sort of mothers day out program.  For some reason the north has not caught onto the whole idea of MDO.  It seems to be that it is daycare or nothing.  A real travesty if you ask me.  My Mama heart was not ready for this but I knew the socialization and structure would help his speech.  Frankly, I also knew he was getting a little bored with Brother and I, and was dying for some play time with other kids.  Fortunately after a little searching we found a fantastic Mothers Morning Out program at a local church that was just the perfect fit for us.  We were able to ease into it with just two days a week.  I was not sure how he would handle this new environment for four hours a day but he tries to ditch me as soon as we get in the building and dart off to his class.  He also insists on going back and blowing kisses to his teachers as we are leaving.  It is just the best feeling seeing someone else love on your baby so well!!

The past two months have been all about finding our new "normal", not only being in a new area but also getting used to living as a family of four.  Its been all about trying to get back to the gym, getting a little more frugal, meal planning, cleaning and all that fun stuff.  Some might call it boring, but Im not going to lie, I love a good to-do list and a little cleaning.  However, laundry, I could do without.  While it is exciting to have new adventures to plan, it still has us a bit out of our comfort zone.  God has really tugged at my heart to trust in His timing when it comes to the getting plugged in and the overwhelming parts of being in a new area. I know this is a season and with that is just more challenges that make me realize I need to stay hungry for God and His word.  He is the only one who NEVER lets me down.  On the tough days I can remember that He is molding me and shaping me.  This transition has not been super easy but I really do think the Lord has just been comforting me and coming in exactly when I need it.  It also helps that I have a mom and three sisters that I can call and talk their ear off when I need someone to drink my nap time coffee with!

This update was little all over the place, but I guess you could say I am a little all over the place.  Thanks for being patient with me and my little blog! Stay tuned for our next update or crazy adventure!

A Letter to my 6 Month Old

My Crawford,

I know that everyone says that you find room in your heart to love a second child as much as your first but I don't completely agree with that.  I am more than convinced that in July I grew another heart entirely.  Life with you in it has made us all so content.  We prayed so hard for you.  The wait for your life was such a learning time for your Dad and I.  God bended us and made us trust Him before we were blessed with the news of your little self.  The timing was more perfect than we could have imagined. You were the perfect piece to our puzzle,and were created as a part of God's sweet vision for the Fitts.  In a year full of highs and lows, you have been the sweet treat in the middle.  In 2015, you were what we were either looking forward to or what we were enjoying immensely.

I guess you could say that if I were to ever have a child with myself, that he would look a little something like you.  It has been so fun to have a little Will running around , and now to have a mini Chelsea to hold and snuggle has me over the moon!  I am very sorry you didn't get a more endearing nickname, Mr. Squishy.  After your 35 week ultrasound we noticed how terribly "squished" your little face was in the picture.  Furthermore, after discovering what a pudgy newborn you were, the name sort of stuck.  Maybe it will wear off.... However, when you aren't being referred to as squishy, your real name suits you just as well.  While we thought some other nick names might come from it, you seem to be very much a Crawford.  I don't know what makes someone a Crawford but you, my darling, are certainly one.

I'm not quite sure when the new baby feeling will wear off, but I am certain I don't want it to.  I am well aware of how fast a newborn turns into a two year old and it makes me just want to hang on to every last moment I can and spend it kissing your fat face.  It has been amazing to see you go from the sleepy and snuggly newborn to a giggling, cheesin, squealing baby!  These past six months are mind blowing when you think about how much your little body is growing, changing and learning.

There is no better experience on the planet than going to greet you after a nap.  You barely crack your eyes open before you are grinning ear to ear, kicking those legs like they just might lift you from the crib.  Your little non existent top lip makes you look like a little turtle.  I can only pray you are always this happy to see me when you wake up.

At about three months old you developed a need for a bit more attention.  You are easy to please though, a simple man who just need a warm body to look at and chat with.  This is not limited to me or even people you know.  A smile or hello from a perfect stranger at Target will get that smile going in a jiff!

While you have many strengths, I also have to touch on your one weakness.  Sweet boy, bless it, you do not like to sleep at night!  You are pretty solid when it comes to naps but the sun goes down and you become the most alert and hungry bed partner I ever did meet.  Yes, I have probably created this monster with giving in and putting you in bed with us.  What can I say, the "please hold me" shriek you let out just kills me!  I'm a sucker, I know.  However, at six months old, I would like to think we can improve on this a little.  While the 2am party bus is exhausting, I know there will be a day that I don't have a baby to snuggle back to sleep in the middle of the night so I am going to enjoy the parts that I know I will miss.  

You love your brother.  While the feeling is not always mutual, you absolutely light up the second you hear him start to babble about trucks or say "Hiiiiii".  Lately, you have started to grab onto his clothes and pull yourself over close enough to rub your gums on him.  At that point he'll give you a swift nudge to get you to stop but that is usually followed by a squeal of joy.  You are just elated that he was showing you some sort of attention.  I know it is not a fun time for Will but it is too cute not to watch.  I foresee quite a few WWE moments in our future!

Over the past month you have become so active.  You roll and scoot EVERYWHERE.  Even though you aren't crawling yet, I wouldn't even refer to you as immobile anymore.  You will work for 20 minutes to scoot over to the truck will left on the floor, in the hopes that you just found your next teething toy.  You have been gnawing on everything and anything you can get your hands on.  While we keep thinking a tooth will pop through any day, I secretly pray that day is not too soon upon us.  I just love a gummy smile.

A department that you and brother differ so much in is eating.  While he wasn't great at nursing and was not all that enamored with food, you win the piggy award!  He eats to live and you live to eat, which has very much contributed to your "soft" figure.  While we haven't started solids(yet), you grab at our food whenever it is in arm's reach.  You love nursing.  I am certain you would eat all day long if I let you.  You are the loudest eater and your little nursing noises are my favorite.  That content little grunt just makes me feel like I'm doing something right.  I think there is somewhat of a snorting sound in there as you gulp and breath super loud but it is the sweetest.  Rocking and nursing at night are my favorite, its uninterrupted and oh so quiet.  

You are quite possibly the happiest baby I have ever encountered.  Everyone who knows you comments on what an easy baby you are.  I just love your jolly little "go with the flow" spirit, truly fitting the personality of a second child.  I am always amazed at the way you can make me feel like the only person that matters in the world.  Granted, I am your walking, talking food supply but you make me feel important nonetheless. The past six months have been such an adventure and while you growing is bittersweet, I am so looking forward to all the firsts we have ahead of us.

Thank you for being so patient with me and letting me learn how to keep my head above water raising two littles.  I wish I had more time to soak in the (what feels like ) seconds of this stage of life, but thank you for being the nudge to slow everything down and live in the present.  There is a very short season where I am able to just sit cheek to cheek with you and smell your sweet baby scent and kiss those cheeks incessantly.  I pray that you stay a Mama's boy forever.  You make my heart sing precious boy.  I love you so....

Happy Half Birthday!

Early New Years Resolutions

As the holidays and new years resolutions are quickly approaching,  I have been thinking on how I would like to do things differently in this next season of life.  After Christmas, my boys and I will head to Charleston to start our life with the hubs in school.  We won't be living with my parents anymore and I won't have 6 extra pairs of hands to help out with the littles.  I feel like a coach before a game trying to get a plan together to conquer the tasks ahead of me.  Other than my life changing drastically, this post has been inspired from seeing so much chatter on social media about married life and mommy life.  I feel like I have read so many blog posts and articles about being a wife and raising children.  Its had my little brain going on this topic for a little while now and I just really feel the need to pow wow about these thoughts in my noggin.

My Mom would always talk about how my grandmother would take her 4:00 shower every day.  Even if she had spent all day in her jammies cleaning and changing diapers, she occupied the kids for thirty minutes to make sure she didn't greet her husband with three day old hair.  Even if it was something as simple as spaghetti and red sauce, there was always a warm meal on the table and my grandfather was greeted with a clean house, dressed children and a smile from his wife.

She really fit the profile of a typical 50's housewife or that June Cleaver stereotype if you will. The goal was to have your husband come home to a quiet and tranquil setting where he could be heard and given a chance to unwind after a day at work.  Back then it was a woman's sole focus to submit to her husband and to keep an organized ship run at home.  Gahh don't all of these things make you want to roll your eyes and think "overachiever"???  At every turn I am seeing this mindset not only be steered away from but even looked down upon and laughed at in our society today.  In the feminist era we live in, women are constantly being reminded that we need to be redeem our womanhood in all sorts of different ways.  For the most part it seems that we have stepped away from this go getter attitude as wives and moms.

Let me be perfectly clear before I move on.  All the attributes I described about my grandmother are NOT things I practice.  If I am able to accomplish ONE thing on that little list, I chalk that day up as a total success!  Some evenings my husband returns from work to somewhat of a war zone.  He finds his wife in the same clothes he left her in, with some spit up added to the grungy shirt.  On any given night the children could be naked and screaming as one continues to tear apart the living room that no longer has a visible floor.  He is greeted by tired, unshowered wife saying 'Today has been a wreck, Im exhausted.  I need you to take the kids, so I can have a minute and then lets order take out".  Okay…not many days are THAT rough but you get the picture.While there are some days where productivity is winning, there are also others where we are lucky to have everyone in one piece.  Maybe a few of you can relate??

I don't know about y'all but underneath my exhausted "oh well" attitude on my failures as a homemaker, my hearts desire is to be all of those things.  When I see a movie from back in the day or hear about my grandmothers routine I get a little giddy on the inside and think "why can't I do that?".  It may just be my type A personality talking but I really think it is God tugging at my heart for things that he hopes for me to be more passionate about. I know that on days that I manage to throw something together for dinner and have a doctors appointment so I am forced to shower and put on real clothes, I sure do feel a lot better greeting my husband at the end of the day.

I am not saying my new years resolution is to try to be more perfect but rather take on the role God has blessed me with with a gracious and joyful spirit.  I want to give my "job" 110%.  Rather than staying in survival mode (because some days you're just trying to survive), I want to do the BEST with what I am given.  In this day and age I feel like I am constantly being reminded of all the things I deserve as a woman. I deserve a man who brings be just because flowers, and I deserve to look like a wreck all day as a mom because raising little ones is HARD,  I deserve to have some "me time" at the end of the day and I most certainly deserve to complain about any of the hardships along the way. This is such a far cry from that June Cleaver portrait earlier! Are we missing something?

I want to look at this lady of the house title through another set of goggles, the biblical kind.  As a Christian woman I ultimately am a daughter of Christ before a wife and mother and my life goal is to fulfill God's purpose for my life and to become more like Him.

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."(Gensis 2:18)

So, according to the bible we were put on this earth to be our husbands helper.  This could either sound really degrading or really empowering.   God is wanting us to do everything we can to support our husbands in providing for the family.  In many situations that means letting our husbands feel good about going to work each day knowing his counterpart is happy to contribute at home.  I think this mentality is overall a way to honor your husband by doing more than biting our tongue in an argument.  Taking on our role as homemaker with a loving spirit might just be what sets us apart from so many and makes God want to bless other areas of our lives.  The topic of this post was mainly sparked from me reading Wife School this year.  It gives such a refreshing view on the opportunities women have in marriage while teaching such biblical yet relevant values that I think every wife could benefit from.  I could not recommend this book enough!

Luckily this is not a blog post about all the things I am doing right.  Ultimately, at the end of the day I do not think that checking tasks off of a lists or having a clean house will make you a better person or  better your walk with the Lord.  However, I think there is definitely something about the attitudes wives had back in the 50's that just worked.  I know it couldn't have been easy to put a smile on your face when hubs walks in the door late or your day has been something awful but I think there is something to it.  and…Well… I'll just say it, DANGIT! I want to be like June Cleaver! I want to be the ultimate housewife and make my husband happy!

So what if we just gave it a try? What if we made dinner on week nights? What if we made sure our husbands came to a house somewhat put together? What if we put on a little lipstick at 5:00? What if we had a standing date night each week?  Would anyone be worse off for it? Yeah sure, we might hit the pillow a little harder at the end of the day but we just might end up feeling a little like superwoman!

I know there are so many different family dynamics out there.  Being a working mom makes everything look a little different in the way you run your home(I have been there).  No one marriage or family will function the same way but the underlying message of humbling ourselves to give all that we have is the point I am getting at.  I can only speak on behalf of my experiences and those who are in similar situations around me, but the goal in mind is just doing the best with what we are given!  I don't expect everyone to agree with me or have the same aspirations but that is okay!! However, if any of you out there have tips or tricks for getting through the week or if you remember things your mom or grandmother did that you think really worked, please let me know!  I love getting ideas for ways I can do things better.  Who knows maybe a future blog post will be a collaboration from some June Cleaver wannabes of the 21st century!

God's Will- not mine

This has probably been the hardest post to bring myself to write thanks to my little friend named pride.  Nonetheless, I knew I wanted to share about the journey we have been on with my first born, Will.

 Will will be two and a half November 14th and as of right now he is still not really talking.  I feel almost silly bringing attention to it knowing that SO many parents battle FAR worse obstacles than this and we are so very blessed to have two healthy children.  However, navigating life with a 3 month old and a frustrated two year old is HARD! This was one area of parenting I never prepared myself for.  Everyone always warned me of the colic and reflux issues and not sleeping through the night troubles that you can expect early on.  No one could have ever prepared me for life with a toddler who can tear apart a room in seconds and is a constant accident waiting to happen.  Not to mention a very worked up toddler with a very small vocabulary. 

We had a feeling Will might be behind in the communication department early on as he didn't really babble much as a baby and at his first birthday was showing no signs of saying any words.  None of this was very alarming seeing as many children are just "late talkers" and we kept that mindset through his whole second year of life.  As most of our friends children around the same age as Will were starting to point out "ball" and "car" and "baby", we were repeating words and talking to Will nonstop hoping he would started imitating us with no success.  

After Will turned two we decided it wouldn't hurt to get some outside help to see if there was some things we could be doing differently.  This summer, right before Crawford was born, we started meeting with a speech therapist once a week.  Even though many people told us that he would start talking when he was ready we figured some enrichment and guidance on ways we could help him could get us in the right direction.  Also, at this point having a little person who felt very strongly about what he wanted but wasn't able to convey this to us made for a very loud and tense household.  All of us ended up adoring our speech therapist and it was so great to see Wills confidence go up from merely feeling more understood.  

While speech therapy has greatly helped in many areas for us, Will is still not talking very much.  He is making progress but this will definitely be a journey.  I still have days that I want to lock myself in the closet and cry and blame myself for his lack of communication.  Did we not read enough books at night before bed?  Should I have talked to him more as an infant? Did I let him watch too much TV?  There are days Will is grumpy and tired and seems to whine and fuss all day.  Days like that are simply when I let Satan in my day and win my joy.  I am constantly reminded that life with ANY toddler has its tough days but I can choose to wake up every morning with a fire in my heart to pour out every ounce of patience and joy I have to all three of the boys in my life.  

There have been days where I am so frustrated for Will and losing my patience left and right, even though I knew he couldn't help any of this.  I would rest my head on the pillow at night feeling like I had lost that day.  I wanted patience. I wanted Will to talk to me and tell me what he wanted and not have to jump through so many hoops to get through the day.  Then one morning while I was having my quiet time I came across this verse:

"Children are a heritage from the Lord,

    offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

    are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

    whose quiver is full of them."

Psalm 127-3-5

Wait a second!  He is God's Will, not mine.  Yes, I gave birth to him and have spent the past two years with the title of his mom; snuggling him, feeding him, rocking him to sleep and cheering when he took his first steps but he was Gods before I ever laid eyes on him May 14th, 2013.  I am definitely his mom and there is no one on this Earth that will love him as much as I do but I am simply a vessel for Christ in raising both he and Crawford.  The Lord has entrusted me with this precious gift and my most important job is not to make sure that Will is talking before he is three, but to share Jesus with this sweet boy.  I have the cherished job of raising up these little men and ensuring that they grow up learning about what walking in grace and love look like.  I need to remind myself what eternal value this job in front of me holds.  While some days I feel that I deserve to be defeated I learn that Will is my REWARD not because of anything I have done but because of abundant grace.  Lets be honest, one glance from those blue eyes and I don't need much reminding of what a gift that kid is.  

    

So many times when we are out and about and someone meets Will I have felt the need to say "Hi this is Will, he doesn't talk" just to avoid confusion and awkwardness but that would be walking in fear, not love.  That would be like God saying "This is my daughter Chelsea, and she sins a lot".  Yes, I sin but that is not who I am and that is not how God sees me.  In the same way, I have a healthy, beautiful little boy who is so full of life and funny and the fact that he is taking his time talking does not define him.  God is able to give you a whole new view on what seem to be hard times when you can see people how God sees them.  I have been told that grace is "meeting people where they are" and I think that is ultimately what God asks of us at the end of they day. If God wants Will to talk when he is four, then he is going to talk when he is four and Mama is going to learn crazy kinds of patience.  

 I know two things for sure, raising two boys is going to be a heck of a job and I have a Savior who is constantly filling my cup.  I have days ahead of me that are going to make me ready for straight jacket and others that make me want to sob happy tears.  No matter what kind of day it is and no matter what we are battling, us Mamas must remember not to start comparing ourselves to others.  I think you cheat yourself the ability to see the good in where you are and comparing just becomes a disappointing game.  Lets be honest, no one has it all together but most of us are just doing the best with what we have.  I don't want to make light of struggling with speech delays or any issues that someones child might be facing.  We have checked all the boxes for Will to make sure there isn't any major underlying problems (i.e hearing problems).  We are going to continue to work with him to the best of our knowledge and try to set him up to thrive.  However, ultimately we know that we serve a HUGE God and a speech delay is nothing he can't handle.  

No matter the challenge or tantrum, we have been brought copious amounts of joy thanks to my favorite two year old.  I can't wait to be greeted by his huge gapped-tooth smile every morning and seeing him point out the window to the car.  He lives for sitting in anyones driver seat and pretending to drive around town.  He would rather listen to Uptown Funk than watch Elmo most mornings, and has been known to sit at the table before dinner with his hands folded waiting for everyone to pray with him.  He hugs like an old man as he taps his fingers gently on your back and him leaning in for a kiss is the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed.  Will Fitts, I am so blessed to be your Mama.  
I love you so….

     

In other news(which I will update in more detail later)  Little Brother can be best described as our "Fat Smile", just along for the ride.  He is learning about all the best things in life like laughing and sleeping through the night.  Everyone just loves him to pieces and he can often be found in someones lap, chewing on his hands.  

Welcoming Crawford James

This my first time to really stray away from navy life or OCS survival, but mommy life matters tend to consume my days.  I have to admit birth stories are somewhat like crack to me when reading other blogs.  When I was pregnant with both my boys I would fight insomnia with reading any birth stories I could find and get so pumped(or terrified) about this miracle that was about to come my way!

Just a warning, this is a story about child birth and there may be parts that are a little TMI.  For those of you who aren't well versed on the graphic miracle of life, I suggest reading some of my other posts. :)

This whole party started Monday July 21st, the day before D day, when Will and I decided we would make a date night out of a late doctors appointment.  My mom offered to take little Will so we could go to dinner and a movie after yet another trip to the OB and on the way out the door I even shouted at her "Ill be sure to call if we end up at the hospital!" just to get her a little bundled! haha We were both so excited to get one more date night in knowing that Baby Fitts should be coming any time at this point.  

We arrived at the doctor's office and started off with the usual listening to the heart beat which never gets old.  While we heard it loud and clear, it definitely sounded like it changed after a few second.  It went from a pretty fast little drum to a much slower beat, and the look on my doctors face confirmed that our little friend was not cooperating like she had liked.  So after checking me and announcing that I was 3cm dilated, she sent us off to the hospital for a NST(non stress test) and ultrasound!  I wasn't full on panicking at this point because while she didn't like the way his heart rate dipped and wanted to get it checked out, she seemed pretty sure that it was just nothing and would rather just play it safe.  

Once we got to the hospital and heard all of the new baby cries around me, I got that giddy feeling and was even more ready to have this baby.  At that point I decided I would really like to go into labor at that moment and just stay and meet my new little man!  When I said that jokingly to the nurse she chuckled and said " You know that is probably not going to happen right?" as she was hooking me up to the heart rate and contraction monitor.  So there we sat, just hanging out watching baby's heart rate do exactly what it was supposed to do.  What a relief!  Then  all of a sudden that all familiar, not so comfortable belly tightening started coming on.  Of course, I ignored it and knew they must have just been braxton hicks that would go away any minute, but don't you know they kept coming and continued to get stronger.  There was no way this was happening.  I was not buying it and didn't even bother telling Will until he asked why I was taking so long to answer his questions.  I was still waiting for them to fade away when the on-call doctor came in to discharge me, she asked how I was feeling with a funny look on her face….she had been watching my pretty solid conractions on the monitor from the nurses station.  She told me I could stay and see what happened or leave and come back if they didn't go away but advised not to go home being that we lived 40 minutes from the hospital.  At this point we had skipped dinner and all I could think about was getting something to eat and going home to get all of my things together.   We opted to go salvage our date night and get dinner nearby and see how I felt after that. Just as I suspected, by the time we finished dinner the contractions completely stopped and we headed back home.  

We had planned on the contractions starting that night again and going back to the hospital the next day, once I got my bags and camera ready I was all set to meet this little guy!  Don't you know I woke up on the 22nd to not a single contraction!  Did he not get the memo that I was READY?? Plus, it was D Day! I decided that I was going to make this happen, so I drug my little sister out of bed and we proceeded to walk the entire boardwalk up and back( 4 miles).  This may not have been one of my wisest choices at 40 weeks pregnant but I was determined to kick up those contractions again.  We finally made it back after twelve breaks to sit on the bench and thirty six "are you okay"s from Anna with not a single contraction.  Major fail.  After spending some time sulking that we were not on our way the to hospital, my sweet mother gave me a swift "get over yourself" speech and kicked Will and I out of the house to go have a toddler-less beach day.  Just as I had agreed and was throwing my bathing suit on, the contractions started back up but this time they came back with a vengeance to the point that they stopped me several times on our walk down to the beach.  I assume any smart woman would turn around and decide not to make the half mile walk down probably the widest beach in the country but no, I was about to enjoy this glorious day gosh darn it!  Not even 10 minutes after parking it in my beach chair and gulping down a bottle of water to see if the contractions would calm down I realized that they were getting stronger with each one.  I knew this was it and was panicked knowing that I had to waddle back home and drive 40 minutes before even getting to the hospital.  This next part is what I would life to call "Firedrill"

The look on my face was enough to scare my sister into flagging down one of the lifeguard trucks to give me a ride up to the street off the beach(Im not joking when I say our beaches are freakishly wide). My sister then gets the brilliant idea to offer me her bike to get me home quicker and I stupidly take her up on her offer.  My poor mother then is greeted by her blimp of a daughter huffing and puffing through contractions while rolling up the street, this was a site for sore eyes!  Once, home we run around like crazy packing bags and throwing things in the car as quickly as we could, and at this point the contractions were every two minutes and strong enough that I couldn't talk through them any more. We successfully got on the road where I was able to cool off in the air, drink some water and try to collect myself.

By the time we got to the hospital at 4:30 I would have been very happy with and anesthesiologist meeting me at the door with an epidural; these contractions were really kicking at this point.  We got checked in and were informed that my OB wasn't on call but they would tell the on call doctor what was going on and get the ball rolling to see what was going on with this baby.  We did a lot of waiting after that, apparently July 22nd was a really popular day to have a baby and the Labor and Delivery ward was packed.  In the midst of all this waiting, the contractions just continued to get more intense.

Finally the doctor came in and checked me at 5:00 and apparently I was still only 3cm and he wasn't convinced I was in labor….WHAT??  Luckily my nurse had been hanging out with me the first hour of us being there and saw how much pain I was in, so my girl Sheila vouched for me as much as she could.  Unfortunately, the doctor was not going to give me an epidural until I had made progress and got the results back from my blood work to tell them that I was healthy enough to have one.  This was the worst news ever, I knew there were no drugs coming my way for a while and I didn't know the first thing about pain management for natural childbirth!

For the next 4 hours it was just Will and I, and while I would have given anything to get out of that experience at the time it all seems very sweet looking back on it.  When little Will was born, I got an epidural almost right away and neither of us knew what we were doing so Will took a step back and was just a bystander for the most part.  It was nice to have him so involved this time, he was such a trooper letting me squeeze his hand, praying with me and just kept telling me I was doing great.  The pain was insane and I wish that I would have been allowed to stand up and change positions to get more comfortable but I was too afraid to move.  At this point the conratctions were every minute and one would just linger into the next one.  I knew I had to be progressing.  Finally at 7:00 after my blood work came back all good, the doctor returned to check me and low and behold I was 6cm!  I remember shouting "Thank you, Jesus!!".  Now all that was left was to wait for the anesthesiologist, but that too would take another hour and a half…

My mom and youngest sister had made their way over to the hospital just as I had become that loud girl in labor.  Apparently when my mom texted Will to see what room we were in he responded " Just find the room that sounds like it has a ghost in it".  At this point making noise was the only thing I knew to do to get through what felt like non stop contractions.  Will said that I kept asking the nurse to please go find the anesthesiologist.  What felt like years later a little Asian man with a white coat walked in our room and I knew it was my guy!  At this point I would have taken that needle in my eyeball!    In a matter of twenty minutes the ghost noises stop and was finally relieved of some of the pain.  I thought this would probably slow down labor a little and we would get to hang out for a few hour just enjoying life pain-free for a little bit.  Before the anesthesiologist left the OB came back to check me (it was 8:30 at this point) and I swore I heard him say 10cm and 100% effaced but I knew that couldn't be right.  He then turned and asked "Are you  ready to have a baby?"  Oh my, this was really happening!  I was relieved to know that I wasnt in all that pain for nothing but I thought I at least had some time to grab my bags and touch up my makeup!

It was go time!  Before my right side had completely numbed up, they had me doing practice pushes.  Luckily my sister ran down to the car to grab the camera just in time.  I wanted to wait until the epidural kicked in a little more before I really started pushing but the baby's heart rate started to dip again and the doctor seemed like he wanted him out pronto!  He thought that his heart rate might be dipping because the cord was wrapped around his neck.  After 20 minutes of pushing I felt like we were getting no where, I didn't have that crazy pressure down low and urge to push like I did with Will so I really thought this was going to take hours.  However, just as I finally got that "gotta push now" feeling the doctor said stop pushing and just make short small grunts.  Grunts??  This was SO hard!  All I wanted to do was push like crazy to get this kid out! At this point I finally experienced that notorious "ring of fire".  I now understand why they don't call it "ring of roses" or "ring of bliss", because boy that part was something special!  After some begging and getting the go ahead to keep pushing, a set of yells and squeals let out in the room as every one(expect me) saw that cute little face emerge.  The doctor quickly unwrapped the cord from his neck and told me to give it one more big push.  In an instant I was face to face with this squishy, dark haired boy laying on my chest; I was in love!!  The room seemed to keep moving around us but for those few seconds this precious babe and I just soaked each other up.  In the midst of the craziness, the nurse turned and asked what his name was, and without a shadow of a doubt said "Crawford".  They then wisked him away to clean him up and make sure he was breathing well.

After he was crying nice and loud, everyone started throwing out their guesses as to how much he weighed.  Even after holding him I still guessed 7.5 lbs and both the doctor and nurses burst out laughing at me.  I didn't quite get why until they put him on the scale and my mom shouted "oh my word, he's huge!"  I guess I just don't know a 10 pounder when Im holding one!

I remember looking over at Will leaning over the little warming bed smiling ear to ear.  It was so precious to see this big man so overwhelmed with love for this little baby. I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them! 

After everyone got a chance to snuggle with baby boy, it was suddenly midnight and I could tell my possey was getting sleepy. We decided to call it a night and let my mom and sister go home to get some rest.  Within about 5 seconds of getting to our new room, Will found his little pull out bed and was out cold.  As I anticipated, my new boyfriend and I spent the rest of the night cuddling and nursing.  I must have kissed his face 1000 times. I tried my best to fall asleep but would find myself hovering over the bassinet just watching him breathe, it was like Christmas times a million!

The next day was so perfect and the three of us just enjoyed the quiet and stillness that we knew we wouldn't experience again anytime soon. We were, however, anticipating the arrival of big brother to meet his new best buddy and I was missing my favorite blondie something awful! 

All morning I was praying that this would be a sweet moment and I wouldn't be left thinking that I have ruined Wills life. Fortunately my fears were completely put to rest when that boy waltzed through the door. At first glance he all of a suddened looked like a teenager compared to the baby bundled up in my arms. Will hopped right up on the bed with me and after opening his big brother gift he climbed right over to check out his new baby. There wasn't an ounce of confusion on his face, that was his brother and he was just as smitten as we were. In that moment I remember thinking to myself "Thank you Lord for these precious gifts", and just trying my darndest to fight back tears.   What a happy time!

 That is the end of this little birth story but the beginning of our insanely blessed but crazy life as family of four.  I often find myself staring at Crawford in disbelief that he is here and that we get to keep him!  I strongly believe that everyone should find themselves a nice handsome husband and have babies; the sleep isn't so great but the love and joy is over the top.  Bring on the fun and the exhausting!!

Crawford James Fitts

July 22, 2014  9:20pm

10lb 4oz 22in