Early New Years Resolutions

As the holidays and new years resolutions are quickly approaching,  I have been thinking on how I would like to do things differently in this next season of life.  After Christmas, my boys and I will head to Charleston to start our life with the hubs in school.  We won't be living with my parents anymore and I won't have 6 extra pairs of hands to help out with the littles.  I feel like a coach before a game trying to get a plan together to conquer the tasks ahead of me.  Other than my life changing drastically, this post has been inspired from seeing so much chatter on social media about married life and mommy life.  I feel like I have read so many blog posts and articles about being a wife and raising children.  Its had my little brain going on this topic for a little while now and I just really feel the need to pow wow about these thoughts in my noggin.

My Mom would always talk about how my grandmother would take her 4:00 shower every day.  Even if she had spent all day in her jammies cleaning and changing diapers, she occupied the kids for thirty minutes to make sure she didn't greet her husband with three day old hair.  Even if it was something as simple as spaghetti and red sauce, there was always a warm meal on the table and my grandfather was greeted with a clean house, dressed children and a smile from his wife.

She really fit the profile of a typical 50's housewife or that June Cleaver stereotype if you will. The goal was to have your husband come home to a quiet and tranquil setting where he could be heard and given a chance to unwind after a day at work.  Back then it was a woman's sole focus to submit to her husband and to keep an organized ship run at home.  Gahh don't all of these things make you want to roll your eyes and think "overachiever"???  At every turn I am seeing this mindset not only be steered away from but even looked down upon and laughed at in our society today.  In the feminist era we live in, women are constantly being reminded that we need to be redeem our womanhood in all sorts of different ways.  For the most part it seems that we have stepped away from this go getter attitude as wives and moms.

Let me be perfectly clear before I move on.  All the attributes I described about my grandmother are NOT things I practice.  If I am able to accomplish ONE thing on that little list, I chalk that day up as a total success!  Some evenings my husband returns from work to somewhat of a war zone.  He finds his wife in the same clothes he left her in, with some spit up added to the grungy shirt.  On any given night the children could be naked and screaming as one continues to tear apart the living room that no longer has a visible floor.  He is greeted by tired, unshowered wife saying 'Today has been a wreck, Im exhausted.  I need you to take the kids, so I can have a minute and then lets order take out".  Okay…not many days are THAT rough but you get the picture.While there are some days where productivity is winning, there are also others where we are lucky to have everyone in one piece.  Maybe a few of you can relate??

I don't know about y'all but underneath my exhausted "oh well" attitude on my failures as a homemaker, my hearts desire is to be all of those things.  When I see a movie from back in the day or hear about my grandmothers routine I get a little giddy on the inside and think "why can't I do that?".  It may just be my type A personality talking but I really think it is God tugging at my heart for things that he hopes for me to be more passionate about. I know that on days that I manage to throw something together for dinner and have a doctors appointment so I am forced to shower and put on real clothes, I sure do feel a lot better greeting my husband at the end of the day.

I am not saying my new years resolution is to try to be more perfect but rather take on the role God has blessed me with with a gracious and joyful spirit.  I want to give my "job" 110%.  Rather than staying in survival mode (because some days you're just trying to survive), I want to do the BEST with what I am given.  In this day and age I feel like I am constantly being reminded of all the things I deserve as a woman. I deserve a man who brings be just because flowers, and I deserve to look like a wreck all day as a mom because raising little ones is HARD,  I deserve to have some "me time" at the end of the day and I most certainly deserve to complain about any of the hardships along the way. This is such a far cry from that June Cleaver portrait earlier! Are we missing something?

I want to look at this lady of the house title through another set of goggles, the biblical kind.  As a Christian woman I ultimately am a daughter of Christ before a wife and mother and my life goal is to fulfill God's purpose for my life and to become more like Him.

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."(Gensis 2:18)

So, according to the bible we were put on this earth to be our husbands helper.  This could either sound really degrading or really empowering.   God is wanting us to do everything we can to support our husbands in providing for the family.  In many situations that means letting our husbands feel good about going to work each day knowing his counterpart is happy to contribute at home.  I think this mentality is overall a way to honor your husband by doing more than biting our tongue in an argument.  Taking on our role as homemaker with a loving spirit might just be what sets us apart from so many and makes God want to bless other areas of our lives.  The topic of this post was mainly sparked from me reading Wife School this year.  It gives such a refreshing view on the opportunities women have in marriage while teaching such biblical yet relevant values that I think every wife could benefit from.  I could not recommend this book enough!

Luckily this is not a blog post about all the things I am doing right.  Ultimately, at the end of the day I do not think that checking tasks off of a lists or having a clean house will make you a better person or  better your walk with the Lord.  However, I think there is definitely something about the attitudes wives had back in the 50's that just worked.  I know it couldn't have been easy to put a smile on your face when hubs walks in the door late or your day has been something awful but I think there is something to it.  and…Well… I'll just say it, DANGIT! I want to be like June Cleaver! I want to be the ultimate housewife and make my husband happy!

So what if we just gave it a try? What if we made dinner on week nights? What if we made sure our husbands came to a house somewhat put together? What if we put on a little lipstick at 5:00? What if we had a standing date night each week?  Would anyone be worse off for it? Yeah sure, we might hit the pillow a little harder at the end of the day but we just might end up feeling a little like superwoman!

I know there are so many different family dynamics out there.  Being a working mom makes everything look a little different in the way you run your home(I have been there).  No one marriage or family will function the same way but the underlying message of humbling ourselves to give all that we have is the point I am getting at.  I can only speak on behalf of my experiences and those who are in similar situations around me, but the goal in mind is just doing the best with what we are given!  I don't expect everyone to agree with me or have the same aspirations but that is okay!! However, if any of you out there have tips or tricks for getting through the week or if you remember things your mom or grandmother did that you think really worked, please let me know!  I love getting ideas for ways I can do things better.  Who knows maybe a future blog post will be a collaboration from some June Cleaver wannabes of the 21st century!

God's Will- not mine

This has probably been the hardest post to bring myself to write thanks to my little friend named pride.  Nonetheless, I knew I wanted to share about the journey we have been on with my first born, Will.

 Will will be two and a half November 14th and as of right now he is still not really talking.  I feel almost silly bringing attention to it knowing that SO many parents battle FAR worse obstacles than this and we are so very blessed to have two healthy children.  However, navigating life with a 3 month old and a frustrated two year old is HARD! This was one area of parenting I never prepared myself for.  Everyone always warned me of the colic and reflux issues and not sleeping through the night troubles that you can expect early on.  No one could have ever prepared me for life with a toddler who can tear apart a room in seconds and is a constant accident waiting to happen.  Not to mention a very worked up toddler with a very small vocabulary. 

We had a feeling Will might be behind in the communication department early on as he didn't really babble much as a baby and at his first birthday was showing no signs of saying any words.  None of this was very alarming seeing as many children are just "late talkers" and we kept that mindset through his whole second year of life.  As most of our friends children around the same age as Will were starting to point out "ball" and "car" and "baby", we were repeating words and talking to Will nonstop hoping he would started imitating us with no success.  

After Will turned two we decided it wouldn't hurt to get some outside help to see if there was some things we could be doing differently.  This summer, right before Crawford was born, we started meeting with a speech therapist once a week.  Even though many people told us that he would start talking when he was ready we figured some enrichment and guidance on ways we could help him could get us in the right direction.  Also, at this point having a little person who felt very strongly about what he wanted but wasn't able to convey this to us made for a very loud and tense household.  All of us ended up adoring our speech therapist and it was so great to see Wills confidence go up from merely feeling more understood.  

While speech therapy has greatly helped in many areas for us, Will is still not talking very much.  He is making progress but this will definitely be a journey.  I still have days that I want to lock myself in the closet and cry and blame myself for his lack of communication.  Did we not read enough books at night before bed?  Should I have talked to him more as an infant? Did I let him watch too much TV?  There are days Will is grumpy and tired and seems to whine and fuss all day.  Days like that are simply when I let Satan in my day and win my joy.  I am constantly reminded that life with ANY toddler has its tough days but I can choose to wake up every morning with a fire in my heart to pour out every ounce of patience and joy I have to all three of the boys in my life.  

There have been days where I am so frustrated for Will and losing my patience left and right, even though I knew he couldn't help any of this.  I would rest my head on the pillow at night feeling like I had lost that day.  I wanted patience. I wanted Will to talk to me and tell me what he wanted and not have to jump through so many hoops to get through the day.  Then one morning while I was having my quiet time I came across this verse:

"Children are a heritage from the Lord,

    offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

    are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

    whose quiver is full of them."

Psalm 127-3-5

Wait a second!  He is God's Will, not mine.  Yes, I gave birth to him and have spent the past two years with the title of his mom; snuggling him, feeding him, rocking him to sleep and cheering when he took his first steps but he was Gods before I ever laid eyes on him May 14th, 2013.  I am definitely his mom and there is no one on this Earth that will love him as much as I do but I am simply a vessel for Christ in raising both he and Crawford.  The Lord has entrusted me with this precious gift and my most important job is not to make sure that Will is talking before he is three, but to share Jesus with this sweet boy.  I have the cherished job of raising up these little men and ensuring that they grow up learning about what walking in grace and love look like.  I need to remind myself what eternal value this job in front of me holds.  While some days I feel that I deserve to be defeated I learn that Will is my REWARD not because of anything I have done but because of abundant grace.  Lets be honest, one glance from those blue eyes and I don't need much reminding of what a gift that kid is.  

    

So many times when we are out and about and someone meets Will I have felt the need to say "Hi this is Will, he doesn't talk" just to avoid confusion and awkwardness but that would be walking in fear, not love.  That would be like God saying "This is my daughter Chelsea, and she sins a lot".  Yes, I sin but that is not who I am and that is not how God sees me.  In the same way, I have a healthy, beautiful little boy who is so full of life and funny and the fact that he is taking his time talking does not define him.  God is able to give you a whole new view on what seem to be hard times when you can see people how God sees them.  I have been told that grace is "meeting people where they are" and I think that is ultimately what God asks of us at the end of they day. If God wants Will to talk when he is four, then he is going to talk when he is four and Mama is going to learn crazy kinds of patience.  

 I know two things for sure, raising two boys is going to be a heck of a job and I have a Savior who is constantly filling my cup.  I have days ahead of me that are going to make me ready for straight jacket and others that make me want to sob happy tears.  No matter what kind of day it is and no matter what we are battling, us Mamas must remember not to start comparing ourselves to others.  I think you cheat yourself the ability to see the good in where you are and comparing just becomes a disappointing game.  Lets be honest, no one has it all together but most of us are just doing the best with what we have.  I don't want to make light of struggling with speech delays or any issues that someones child might be facing.  We have checked all the boxes for Will to make sure there isn't any major underlying problems (i.e hearing problems).  We are going to continue to work with him to the best of our knowledge and try to set him up to thrive.  However, ultimately we know that we serve a HUGE God and a speech delay is nothing he can't handle.  

No matter the challenge or tantrum, we have been brought copious amounts of joy thanks to my favorite two year old.  I can't wait to be greeted by his huge gapped-tooth smile every morning and seeing him point out the window to the car.  He lives for sitting in anyones driver seat and pretending to drive around town.  He would rather listen to Uptown Funk than watch Elmo most mornings, and has been known to sit at the table before dinner with his hands folded waiting for everyone to pray with him.  He hugs like an old man as he taps his fingers gently on your back and him leaning in for a kiss is the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed.  Will Fitts, I am so blessed to be your Mama.  
I love you so….

     

In other news(which I will update in more detail later)  Little Brother can be best described as our "Fat Smile", just along for the ride.  He is learning about all the best things in life like laughing and sleeping through the night.  Everyone just loves him to pieces and he can often be found in someones lap, chewing on his hands.  

10 Things

I have collaborated with some of my fellow Navy OCS loved ones and come up with this little list of things we really wish someone had told me before sending our sailors off to OCS.  I know that there are going to be many parts of Navy life harder that Wills time spent in Rhode Island but I would like to think of this first obstacle a special little challenge!  Am I pro at this? Absolutely not! But had I known some of these tid bits, OCS would have been much less full of surprises!  So here is, 

10 Things I Wish Someone had Told me Before OCS

1. Expect Zero Contact in Week One

I wish there was someone that could have grabbed my face and said "Chelsea, he has not forgotten about you, he simply doesn't have a phone and can't send mail yet" during the first week. Mail is very slow for them and it feels like that first letter is never going to come, but when it does it is GLORIOUS.   Their first week is a blur and while SOME people end up getting a phone call or some how send mail right away, for the sake of everyones sanity, just assume that week one will be a communication cleanse for you and your LO.

2. Facebook Groups are Lifesaving

Just at the end of week one when I had spent two hours googling any information I could get my hands on about OCS and had just about given up; I found a OCS Friends and Family Group.  This network of people was probably my most valuable resource the entire 15 weeks Will was away.  It was moms, dads, wives, girlfriends and anyone wanting to keep up with their sailors along the way.  Not only did it give me updates, but there were files and instructions for Candio Boxes, graduation and even the proper way to send letters.  An added bonus to this group was when I showed up to Newport for graduation I felt like I already knew so many people!  The sense of community within the Navy is amazing!

3.  OCS Aint Cheap

While OCS is part of their job and our LOs do get paid while they are there does not mean that it doesnt cost money to be there and graduate.  This was something that I never gave an ounce of thought to until Will wrote or called saying "Oh money for food comes out of my paycheck and we have to pay for uniforms before we leave".  Trips to the NEX every other week and travel expenses for graduation also added up very quickly and fortunately we were able to drive.  However, the big monster at the end was the uniform bill.  The excitement at the thought of seeing them in their dress whites at graduation eases the blow as you dish out what feels like a down payment on a car.  It is all very worth it but definitely something to think about beforehand.  

4. RLP is from the pits of Hell
While there are many many evolutions that are rollable, I think there is one that stands out to most as the worst.  This would be the Room, Locker, and Personnel Inspection.  It is tough for everyone, the Indocs and their loved ones.  The wait for an email from your sailor on the day of RLP was the most stressful day for me by far.  This was one part that took me out at the knees, and I wish that I would have been more aware of its suckiness(is that a word?) before hand!

5. Hurry Up and Wait

I had always thought since the military seems to be such a well-oiled and structured machine that there would be many absolutes and everything would happen in a timely manner.  I have since come off of that little cloud and realized that many aspects of Navy life include waiting and many times till the very last minute.  Will, along with many others, didnt recieve his orders until the day of gradution.  Also, the training and schools that these officers attend after OCS does not always have spots open which can result in longer OHARP(which I dont hate). However, waiting seems even worse when graduates have to stay after graduation to wait for orders or the dreaded NAMI letters(for pilots).  

6. 12ish Weeks

I think most LOs go into OCS thinking "its just twelve weeks, its just 12 weeks" and then at some point in those twelve weeks someone decides that 15 weeks sounds much better.  The word ROLL will never be the same to me as long as I live.  The sound of it makes my blood turn cold!  After Will rolled, I spent the rest of his time there in fear that every event could be the one that pushes him back another three weeks. 

7. Rolling isn't always Fair
I assumed the only reason someone would roll into H Class at OCS was because they clearly didn't reach a goal or pass a test.  I didn't realize how subjective all of these tests and inspections were!  While Will rolled into H Class for very obviously not passing an evolution, there were many that rolled at inspections or tests over one point or because the DI was grumpy and had a personal vendetta. I know so many LOs(including myself) left scratching their heads as to why their sailor was rolled back a class for something so "stupid".  However, there are many that don't ever have to experience this and make it through in just 12 weeks!

8. The Opportunity of H Class
Initially I thought nothing could possibly ever come from H Class, and was very set in my ways about that idea until the end of week two.  I had realized that Will was able to take a step back and take time to learn and perfect things for his inspections.  He was also able to start a devotional and have time to share his testimony with some of the other guys in H Class and was able to write me a lot more.  While it is definitely three weeks of sitting on your hands and not moving forward, it goes by quicker than you think and I am certain that it gives most a chance to grow their knowledge and most importantly their confidence.

9. Write Write Write
I can't stress enough how much those at OCS look forward to getting mail.  Will said it was like christmas every time the mail carrier came and it was an even bigger deal when he would have a stack of letters.  I did great on the front end but really dropped he ball after email and phone privileges were in play.  I wish I would have stuck with it the whole time, writing him was like a journal just from updating him on our days. It was nice because I could put all of long things I needed to talk about on the letters and the short and important things were saved for the phone.  Also, having envelopes addressed and stamped on hand made it so easy to write a letter real quick and pop it in the mail.  I can't wait to go back and read our letters to each other in 10 years!

10.  The best way to get through OCS is with a little determination and a whole lot of JESUS!
I could give you a list of 50 things that may help this process be a little easier and less confusing but the ONLY thing that got me through those 15 weeks with my sanity is giving every day to Christ.  Trusting in God alone and knowing that His timing and His plan were best is what made us stronger.  He was the one that opened the door for Will to become an officer and he is the one who got him to graduation.  I wish I could say that is was my own doings that gave me comfort on bad days but it was most certainly Jesus and his sovereignty and grace!  It is so sweet to look back and see where God shapes and molds us in times that are tough and overwhelming, he is begging us to cling to Him for joy and encouragement!

I hope this list didn't just shine negative light on OCS, because that was not my intention at all!  Will and I are both so happy we walked into this opportunity and really think t has forever changed our family for the better and further grounded us in our faith!  Also, thank you to everyone who gave their input to help make this list!  I hope that someone who is completely new to Navy life can find this and know a little more than I did when I began this journey!  

Welcoming Crawford James

This my first time to really stray away from navy life or OCS survival, but mommy life matters tend to consume my days.  I have to admit birth stories are somewhat like crack to me when reading other blogs.  When I was pregnant with both my boys I would fight insomnia with reading any birth stories I could find and get so pumped(or terrified) about this miracle that was about to come my way!

Just a warning, this is a story about child birth and there may be parts that are a little TMI.  For those of you who aren't well versed on the graphic miracle of life, I suggest reading some of my other posts. :)

This whole party started Monday July 21st, the day before D day, when Will and I decided we would make a date night out of a late doctors appointment.  My mom offered to take little Will so we could go to dinner and a movie after yet another trip to the OB and on the way out the door I even shouted at her "Ill be sure to call if we end up at the hospital!" just to get her a little bundled! haha We were both so excited to get one more date night in knowing that Baby Fitts should be coming any time at this point.  

We arrived at the doctor's office and started off with the usual listening to the heart beat which never gets old.  While we heard it loud and clear, it definitely sounded like it changed after a few second.  It went from a pretty fast little drum to a much slower beat, and the look on my doctors face confirmed that our little friend was not cooperating like she had liked.  So after checking me and announcing that I was 3cm dilated, she sent us off to the hospital for a NST(non stress test) and ultrasound!  I wasn't full on panicking at this point because while she didn't like the way his heart rate dipped and wanted to get it checked out, she seemed pretty sure that it was just nothing and would rather just play it safe.  

Once we got to the hospital and heard all of the new baby cries around me, I got that giddy feeling and was even more ready to have this baby.  At that point I decided I would really like to go into labor at that moment and just stay and meet my new little man!  When I said that jokingly to the nurse she chuckled and said " You know that is probably not going to happen right?" as she was hooking me up to the heart rate and contraction monitor.  So there we sat, just hanging out watching baby's heart rate do exactly what it was supposed to do.  What a relief!  Then  all of a sudden that all familiar, not so comfortable belly tightening started coming on.  Of course, I ignored it and knew they must have just been braxton hicks that would go away any minute, but don't you know they kept coming and continued to get stronger.  There was no way this was happening.  I was not buying it and didn't even bother telling Will until he asked why I was taking so long to answer his questions.  I was still waiting for them to fade away when the on-call doctor came in to discharge me, she asked how I was feeling with a funny look on her face….she had been watching my pretty solid conractions on the monitor from the nurses station.  She told me I could stay and see what happened or leave and come back if they didn't go away but advised not to go home being that we lived 40 minutes from the hospital.  At this point we had skipped dinner and all I could think about was getting something to eat and going home to get all of my things together.   We opted to go salvage our date night and get dinner nearby and see how I felt after that. Just as I suspected, by the time we finished dinner the contractions completely stopped and we headed back home.  

We had planned on the contractions starting that night again and going back to the hospital the next day, once I got my bags and camera ready I was all set to meet this little guy!  Don't you know I woke up on the 22nd to not a single contraction!  Did he not get the memo that I was READY?? Plus, it was D Day! I decided that I was going to make this happen, so I drug my little sister out of bed and we proceeded to walk the entire boardwalk up and back( 4 miles).  This may not have been one of my wisest choices at 40 weeks pregnant but I was determined to kick up those contractions again.  We finally made it back after twelve breaks to sit on the bench and thirty six "are you okay"s from Anna with not a single contraction.  Major fail.  After spending some time sulking that we were not on our way the to hospital, my sweet mother gave me a swift "get over yourself" speech and kicked Will and I out of the house to go have a toddler-less beach day.  Just as I had agreed and was throwing my bathing suit on, the contractions started back up but this time they came back with a vengeance to the point that they stopped me several times on our walk down to the beach.  I assume any smart woman would turn around and decide not to make the half mile walk down probably the widest beach in the country but no, I was about to enjoy this glorious day gosh darn it!  Not even 10 minutes after parking it in my beach chair and gulping down a bottle of water to see if the contractions would calm down I realized that they were getting stronger with each one.  I knew this was it and was panicked knowing that I had to waddle back home and drive 40 minutes before even getting to the hospital.  This next part is what I would life to call "Firedrill"

The look on my face was enough to scare my sister into flagging down one of the lifeguard trucks to give me a ride up to the street off the beach(Im not joking when I say our beaches are freakishly wide). My sister then gets the brilliant idea to offer me her bike to get me home quicker and I stupidly take her up on her offer.  My poor mother then is greeted by her blimp of a daughter huffing and puffing through contractions while rolling up the street, this was a site for sore eyes!  Once, home we run around like crazy packing bags and throwing things in the car as quickly as we could, and at this point the contractions were every two minutes and strong enough that I couldn't talk through them any more. We successfully got on the road where I was able to cool off in the air, drink some water and try to collect myself.

By the time we got to the hospital at 4:30 I would have been very happy with and anesthesiologist meeting me at the door with an epidural; these contractions were really kicking at this point.  We got checked in and were informed that my OB wasn't on call but they would tell the on call doctor what was going on and get the ball rolling to see what was going on with this baby.  We did a lot of waiting after that, apparently July 22nd was a really popular day to have a baby and the Labor and Delivery ward was packed.  In the midst of all this waiting, the contractions just continued to get more intense.

Finally the doctor came in and checked me at 5:00 and apparently I was still only 3cm and he wasn't convinced I was in labor….WHAT??  Luckily my nurse had been hanging out with me the first hour of us being there and saw how much pain I was in, so my girl Sheila vouched for me as much as she could.  Unfortunately, the doctor was not going to give me an epidural until I had made progress and got the results back from my blood work to tell them that I was healthy enough to have one.  This was the worst news ever, I knew there were no drugs coming my way for a while and I didn't know the first thing about pain management for natural childbirth!

For the next 4 hours it was just Will and I, and while I would have given anything to get out of that experience at the time it all seems very sweet looking back on it.  When little Will was born, I got an epidural almost right away and neither of us knew what we were doing so Will took a step back and was just a bystander for the most part.  It was nice to have him so involved this time, he was such a trooper letting me squeeze his hand, praying with me and just kept telling me I was doing great.  The pain was insane and I wish that I would have been allowed to stand up and change positions to get more comfortable but I was too afraid to move.  At this point the conratctions were every minute and one would just linger into the next one.  I knew I had to be progressing.  Finally at 7:00 after my blood work came back all good, the doctor returned to check me and low and behold I was 6cm!  I remember shouting "Thank you, Jesus!!".  Now all that was left was to wait for the anesthesiologist, but that too would take another hour and a half…

My mom and youngest sister had made their way over to the hospital just as I had become that loud girl in labor.  Apparently when my mom texted Will to see what room we were in he responded " Just find the room that sounds like it has a ghost in it".  At this point making noise was the only thing I knew to do to get through what felt like non stop contractions.  Will said that I kept asking the nurse to please go find the anesthesiologist.  What felt like years later a little Asian man with a white coat walked in our room and I knew it was my guy!  At this point I would have taken that needle in my eyeball!    In a matter of twenty minutes the ghost noises stop and was finally relieved of some of the pain.  I thought this would probably slow down labor a little and we would get to hang out for a few hour just enjoying life pain-free for a little bit.  Before the anesthesiologist left the OB came back to check me (it was 8:30 at this point) and I swore I heard him say 10cm and 100% effaced but I knew that couldn't be right.  He then turned and asked "Are you  ready to have a baby?"  Oh my, this was really happening!  I was relieved to know that I wasnt in all that pain for nothing but I thought I at least had some time to grab my bags and touch up my makeup!

It was go time!  Before my right side had completely numbed up, they had me doing practice pushes.  Luckily my sister ran down to the car to grab the camera just in time.  I wanted to wait until the epidural kicked in a little more before I really started pushing but the baby's heart rate started to dip again and the doctor seemed like he wanted him out pronto!  He thought that his heart rate might be dipping because the cord was wrapped around his neck.  After 20 minutes of pushing I felt like we were getting no where, I didn't have that crazy pressure down low and urge to push like I did with Will so I really thought this was going to take hours.  However, just as I finally got that "gotta push now" feeling the doctor said stop pushing and just make short small grunts.  Grunts??  This was SO hard!  All I wanted to do was push like crazy to get this kid out! At this point I finally experienced that notorious "ring of fire".  I now understand why they don't call it "ring of roses" or "ring of bliss", because boy that part was something special!  After some begging and getting the go ahead to keep pushing, a set of yells and squeals let out in the room as every one(expect me) saw that cute little face emerge.  The doctor quickly unwrapped the cord from his neck and told me to give it one more big push.  In an instant I was face to face with this squishy, dark haired boy laying on my chest; I was in love!!  The room seemed to keep moving around us but for those few seconds this precious babe and I just soaked each other up.  In the midst of the craziness, the nurse turned and asked what his name was, and without a shadow of a doubt said "Crawford".  They then wisked him away to clean him up and make sure he was breathing well.

After he was crying nice and loud, everyone started throwing out their guesses as to how much he weighed.  Even after holding him I still guessed 7.5 lbs and both the doctor and nurses burst out laughing at me.  I didn't quite get why until they put him on the scale and my mom shouted "oh my word, he's huge!"  I guess I just don't know a 10 pounder when Im holding one!

I remember looking over at Will leaning over the little warming bed smiling ear to ear.  It was so precious to see this big man so overwhelmed with love for this little baby. I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them! 

After everyone got a chance to snuggle with baby boy, it was suddenly midnight and I could tell my possey was getting sleepy. We decided to call it a night and let my mom and sister go home to get some rest.  Within about 5 seconds of getting to our new room, Will found his little pull out bed and was out cold.  As I anticipated, my new boyfriend and I spent the rest of the night cuddling and nursing.  I must have kissed his face 1000 times. I tried my best to fall asleep but would find myself hovering over the bassinet just watching him breathe, it was like Christmas times a million!

The next day was so perfect and the three of us just enjoyed the quiet and stillness that we knew we wouldn't experience again anytime soon. We were, however, anticipating the arrival of big brother to meet his new best buddy and I was missing my favorite blondie something awful! 

All morning I was praying that this would be a sweet moment and I wouldn't be left thinking that I have ruined Wills life. Fortunately my fears were completely put to rest when that boy waltzed through the door. At first glance he all of a suddened looked like a teenager compared to the baby bundled up in my arms. Will hopped right up on the bed with me and after opening his big brother gift he climbed right over to check out his new baby. There wasn't an ounce of confusion on his face, that was his brother and he was just as smitten as we were. In that moment I remember thinking to myself "Thank you Lord for these precious gifts", and just trying my darndest to fight back tears.   What a happy time!

 That is the end of this little birth story but the beginning of our insanely blessed but crazy life as family of four.  I often find myself staring at Crawford in disbelief that he is here and that we get to keep him!  I strongly believe that everyone should find themselves a nice handsome husband and have babies; the sleep isn't so great but the love and joy is over the top.  Bring on the fun and the exhausting!!

Crawford James Fitts

July 22, 2014  9:20pm

10lb 4oz 22in

Graduation Pt 2

Just when I thought giving birth might keep me from ever finishing telling our little tale of graduation in Newport, I decided to pick back up and finish in the hopes of inducing labor.

Saturday morning snuck up super quickly as all the families were invited to come watch class 13-15 in their final PT session.  It started promptly at 6:30 which might be sleeping in for all of our friends at OCS but for wives and toddler who are used to sleeping till 8:30 it felt like the middle of the night.  Fortunately, it was beautiful that morning and the anticipation of graduation put a little pep in our step.  It was exciting to see the whole group doing push ups bear crawls knowing that they have done this almost every day for the last 4 months and that this would be the last time to do it together.  The whole run and PT session took only 15 minutes or so and we were all greeted by our sweaty sailors who had a little free time to grab donuts before the big event.  I consider myself a bit of a donut snob having lived in Memphis for almost 10 years and having experienced Gibson's on a pretty regular basis.  However, I was blown away by how good "Ma's" Donuts were in Newport, so yummy!! If you are ever in Newport you must give it a try.  I thought my husband was experiencing it for the first time with me but it turns out, Ma's caters to the chapel on base for church every Sunday, so he got to enjoy them once a week!

We dropped Will back off for the last time and headed back to the hotel to take a quick nap before graduation.  My sister and I may or may not have bought our graduation dresses during week seven of OCS for Will, and spent days staring at them so excited to wear them!   However, by the time we were getting ready for the ceremony I would have been content with wearing a burlap sack!

We pulled up to the field just as the class was lining up to march across to the field.  They all looked so official in their dress whites and don't you know the second we walk up Little Will started with pointing and shouting "DA, DA, DA".  He had no idea which man he was pointing to but surely his daddy was in there somewhere.  I had underestimated what a special experience the whole ceremony would be.  The band was set up in uniform and the front of the field had a platform where their class team sat, and they even had a special entrance for the Captain who was the guest of honor.

Then came our Ensigns, it was surreal to see them marching across the field in perfect unison to the music.  Luckily Little Will thought the music was perfect for dancing in between his continued "DA" shouts every 2 minutes, just in case anyone forgot his Daddy was out there.  He did great until he didn't…about 10 minutes before the ceremony ended we started a two year old tantrum.  I quickly found the stroller and resorted to some snacks to keep him quiet in fear any of the nearby Drill Instructors might put me on my face for having the screaming child.  Just as little man settled down I got to pay back attention to Will and all of his classmates take their oath to office.  In a matter of second the season that was so tough and felt so long came to an end as they cheered and tossed their covers(hats) in the air.  Thanks to sunglasses I fought back the tears quickly enough for no one to noticed, but left alone may have just found a corner and sobbed happy tears.  This was by far the most emotional moment of the whole trip and no one around me knew it because I didn't want to be the weepy pregnant girl and knew pictures still had to be taken!

We waited a few minutes while the class to proper pictures and then were greeted by our favorite guy.  It was the perfect moment for a salute! We were able to snap some pictures and pick up Wills last paperwork, then headed to downtown Newport to celebrate with lunch.  It was just as I had pictured.  We found a local, cute spot on the water and all gorged ourselves on lobster rolls and fruity cocktails(or virgin pina coladas in my case).  It was nothing fussy but just a relaxing afternoon and a big sigh of relief with some of my favorite people.  Little man was surprisingly well behaved and we got to walk around downtown for a little while checking out all of the cute shops Newport had to offer.  I wish we didn't have the impending "lets hope Chelsea doesn't go into labor in Rhode Island" worry otherwise I would have loved to have spent a few more days checking out this precious town.  I didn't mind one bit missing out knowing that we got to change into comfy clothes and head home with my best friend on board!

Oh yeah! I almost completely left y'all hanging on the next step for us.  Just an hour before graduation started Will called me informing me he had finally received his orders.  For the next 19 weeks he will be recruiting in Philly several days a week until he reports to Power School in December.  This is such an answer to prayer since OHARP will allow him to be home and working a normal schedule as Baby #2 arrives.  We will also be blessed with the help of my big crazy family as we will continue to stay with them for the next few months in South Jersey.  Just another reminder that God is so good and His timing is PERFECT!

As I sit here writing this two and a half weeks later, I still sit in awe of the way God perfected the timing of everything that has happened to our family in these past few months.  OCS was by far one of the toughest times Will and I have faced as a couple but by far the most rewarding.  It has given us such an appreciation for the smallest moments spent together.  The past two weeks have been filled with sleeping in and enjoying the beach, waterpark and all the unhealthy food New Jersey has to offer.    I feel so undeserving of all of the blessing God has planted in my path and am so grateful for the lessons learned.  I truly don't know what I am going to do when I have THREE boys making my heart full.  Given that my due  date is today, here is to hoping we become a family of four sooner rather than later!!

As always, I am blown away by the love and support of all of our friends and family.  Thank y'all so much for praying for us, reaching out, and encouraging us at every step.  God has surrounded us with some amazing folks!!